Thursday, June 15, 2006

Post-Birthday Denial

Post-Birthday Denial

I seem to be in a state of disarray after my birthday. One of the reasons is I am in denial of my age. For some twisted logic, I kept convincing myself that I am 20. I know I am not, but I still feel 20. Some people would contend (especially Erik Erikson) that I may not be fulfilling the developmental tenets that he proposed. With all due respect to the advocates of the developmental milestones, I am an ardent supporter of people staying young at heart.

Moreover, I quit my hospital job. Although quitting denotes a negative definition, I already applied to another facility which I will be starting also as an RN. Certain factors compelled me to quit. I may be on the verge of a burnout. Add to that, the 72 miles I have to travel everyday to go work. Hence, in order to prevent a foreseeable burnout, quitting the first hospital job was necessary.

I will be a hypocrite if I would say: “I never really liked the first hospital.” However, I am a pragmatist by default. As I have said, quitting was necessary.

There goes my birthday. Denial. Disarray. Happiness….. Relatively. I bought a DS lite, and I bought a new cellular phone. There, I seem to bask in the heat of materialism.

No comments: