Panhandling: Baby Shower Universe
My friend Patricia was talking about her upcoming baby shower that is to occur months from now. She emphasized that she would not engage in any baby shower registry. She claimed that it was a rude practice to command what gifts guests should bring.
I agree with Patricia. Most Americans have this practice of dictatorship. The definition of baby shower is given too much euphemism: A baby shower is a rite of passage in which the parents of a baby arrange and organize to receive gifts and money from their families and friends. (Wikipedia.org). If someone would attend a baby shower, it is mandatory for guests to register what gifts to buy. I would suppose that this is one of the discrete ways to panhandle, or to beg. The very action of requiring gifts to guests seems to be an act of desperation, because the parents can not provide, their friends and families would provide.
It is the responsibility of the prospective parents to provide what the baby needs. As I have contended, Americans oftentimes prefer euphemisms. They would say baby shower, instead of panhandling. Panhandling is defined as: “to accost on the street and beg from.” The difference seems to be negligible.
That is why I agree with Patricia. Baby shower is a backward tradition that seems to undermine the ability of prospective parents to provide for their own baby. It clumps on the solidarity banner of family and friends. Arguably, it (baby shower registry) is a tradition for parasites, and I am glad that my friend vehemently shuns this backward tradition.
2 comments:
Although I agree that "registering" all gift giving is misguided, as it defeats the original purpose- to give support, not to follow instructions.
But baby showers are a beloved part of motherhood.
If you were in this position personally, you might understand that it isn't even the gifts that matter.
It is support given to a future mother, by her family, and friends, who have maybe already become mothers, and know what the future mother might need- each from their own experience.
This "support" is what makes the gifts interesting and something to cherish through the years of raising the child.
To "register" for gifts is to erase all original thought, and intention, and exchange it for materialistic obligation.
We have very loving friends and family who unfortunately live across the country and cannot spend these wonderful months with us. They have asked us if we were registering our needs and likes for baby. They have expressed that since they can't be with us they would like to send gifts. Registering makes those requests easier.
I can't believe how upset registering for baby gifts makes some people. Maybe we should put that energy towards tackling some larger world issues. I'm so sad for you.
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